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[ Watch The Birdie II, Revenge Of The Feathery Thing (Page 9) ] Week 9 – Miami Dolphins (5-2) @ Arizona Cardinals (5-2)
Strengths
Weaknesses
Game Plan On defence, we can pretty much afford to put as many men in the box as we like - the only really dangerous receivers look to be Chris Chambers and possibly the tight end, McDaniel. So most of the team will form the Ricky Patrol, and anyone left over who's got a bit of time to spare will try and think about covering Chambers. One note of caution - Miami's third wideout, Derrius Thompson, looks a wee bit speedy, so our resident pocket-rocket Terry Fair will move up to 3rd on the depth-chart to cover him, dropping No-Mark Barrett to dime-duty. If he somehow finds a way to win the game for us this week, next game he'll be starting on the cheerleading squad. I'm actually interested to find out what it takes to put this man down, now. - Our third home game on the bounce, and the Arizona faithful are out in full force and full voice. The Jets have done us a favour in the early game, handing St. Louis their first defeat of the season in an overtime thriller, so it's only fair and right that we try and help them out in return. I'm really not entirely sure where my soul-deep loathing of the Miami Flippers and all their hellish works comes from. I mean, the obvious answer is the AFC-East-rivalry-thing, but I'm not convinced. I mean, New England have won two of the last three Super Bowls, and yet I can barely bring myself to summon up so much as a twinge of mild dislike toward them. There's the uniform, of course, orange and aqua being a combination that only a brain fried to a crisp by the Florida heat would envision, but there are plenty of worse offenders around the league (I'll give you a clue. It rhymes with "Sleeveland Crowns"). And it's not like Miami are a franchise that are patently a haven for cackling super-villainy like, say, Washington or Oakland. They're not even in the Baltimore class of snivelling-henchman-grade evil, to be honest. Nevertheless, the fact remains that there's something about them that sets my teeth on edge. If I had to take a guess, I'd say it was the vague air of cocksure arrogance that the franchise tends to exude that's the culprit. The Flippers seem always to expect to beat everyone put in front of them and they're almost always touted for the post-season before a ball is kicked - which is why it's always so hilariously funny when December rolls around and their season sinks gracefully beneath the waves once more. Oh, and their logo sucks, as well. Bottom line - I don't know why I hate them, but I'm glad I do. All this talk is to try and distract you from what's going on on the field, because it's not terribly pretty. On one side, a pretty good offence is running into a superb defence, on the other an average defence is handling an outright poor offence. That translates to Snap, snap, snap, punt. Snap, snap, snap, punt. Snap, snap, snap, punt, rinse and repeat until the crowd at Sun Devil bugger off to do something more interesting, like crochet or watching paint dry. End of the 1st quarter. As much as anyone can be said to be winning this What-We're-Laughably-Referring-To-As-A-"Game", though, we're winning it. Each punt creeps us a little closer to Miami's line, and each punt backs them closer to the wall. Eventually, Terry Fair slithers a return into Flipper territory, Miami panic a bit and bring a big-blitz on 1st down allowing Anquan Boldin to slide out of the slot and into a huge gap, taking us into the red-zone.
Johnno gets just a smidgeon of room on the slant to bring us in close, and Jeff Blake gets his first rushing TD as a Cardinal on the quarterback-keeper. Get in! MIA 0-7 ARI We brace ourselves for the traditional Opponent's-Offence-Waking-Up-Drive that normally arrives at about this point, forgetting for a moment that we're playing Miami and the mighty Jay Fiedler. They punt, then, and once more Terry Fair gets us back into Flipper territory. For the second time today, Anquan Boldin sneaks into the slot position. For the second time today, Miami throw a blitz at us. For the second time today, Anquan gets into the space behind the rushers for a big chunk o'yards. Heh. This time it's a screen-pass that gets us in close, and fullback James Hodgins who opens his account for the season. This game's a lot easier when we're only playing in 50 yards of the field. MIA 0-14 ARI NOW they wake up, a Miami receiver finally hanging onto a pass after the Bucket-Hand Master-Class they'd been putting on all day to this point. It's the rookie, Sam Simmons, who gets behind the coverage to the tune of 62 yards, and from our 14 Ricky Williams only needs two goes. Nuts, two and a bit minutes left in the 2nd, MIA 7-14 ARI We've been good in the 2-minute drill all year, though, and just march downfield taking what Miami give us - mostly the underneath zones. As time expires, Whatshisname hits a shortish three-pointer, taking us in at the half with the score a reasonably satisfying MIA 7-17 ARI - The second half begins much like the first did, really. Our offence is having only sporadic success against a terrific Flipper defensive unit, while Miami's only genuine, no-fooling offensive superstar is being hamstrung partly by the utter lack of anything remotely resembling a deep threat, but mostly by having five representatives of the local ladies' finishing-school blocking for him. Still, we're ten points up, so I'm not complaining too hard. The only slight warning-sign is that for a change Dave Wannstadt hasn't panicked, and hasn't stopped giving the ball to Ricky Williams. As the third quarter becomes the fourth, there are signs just starting to creep in that our front seven might be wearing down a bit. Ricky basically puts the team on his back and carries them, inch by hard-won inch, down the field. We eventually manage to stop him by abandoning any pretence of defending the pass and stacking nine men in the box, but Olindo Mare is close enough to hit a 38-yarder and close the gap to one score. Seven minutes to play. MIA 10-17 ARI With the defence looking more and more weary with every play, we need our offence to show a little something - not even a score, necessarily, just a few first downs to give the fat-lads up front a breather. Less ideal is, say, Jeff Blake getting sacked on the second play of the drive and coughing the damn ball up, giving Miami another go at us, this time starting at our 23. No. No, that wouldn't be first choice at all. Miami are still stumbling, though, and it takes them three whole downs to convert and set up a first and goal. We stack the line, daring them to go to the air, but Wannstadt isn't willing to put the game in Jay Fiedler's hands, and sticks with what he knows. Which doesn't work. Twice. 3rd and goal at the 6, then, and the Flippers come out with three-wide. We counter with six defensive backs, rush four and drop seven into a soft zone. Their o-line does a decent job, but with all those red shirts milling about in the endzone Fiedler can't get a clear sight to an open target, and has to hang on in the hope someone will come free. The pocket begins to collapse and the quarterback has to go on the move, before he suddenly spots Chris Chambers getting a yard of fresh air at the back of the endzone. Fiedler releases, but the instant he does so his passing-lane is filled by Dexter Jackson, who watches the ball all the way in and does his best No-Mark Barrett impersonation making a comfortable, game-saving interception.
There's still four minutes or so to play from there, but the game pretty much peters out as our offence pulls itself together and builds a long, clock-killing drive that brings the game to an end with a whimper. Still, they all count. Ricky Williams becomes the first back all season to have a 100-yard game against us, but it's all four naught as that rarest of beasts, a strong performance from our defence, carries us to victory. Final score - MIA 10-17 ARI, our record now 6-2. [
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